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2008 CONVENTION BLOG: HUMOUR, HAIKU & HISTORY :) FEB 4 2008

February 4th, 2008


Churchill Alemao is a confused Goan politician…

i

original goan haiku #4

DEAR AUNTY,

Canadian teens at the Convention keep singing this crazy song about the fastest gun in the West! Is it true he was a Goan, and if so, what was his name??

Farrar.
…………..

Dear Farrar:

Yes he was a Goan – Speedy Goan’zales!!

j

Francis Rodrigues © 2008 Toronto.


2008 CONVENTION BLOG: HUMOUR, HAIKU & HISTORY :) FEB 3 2008

February 3rd, 2008


Churchill Alemao is a confused Goan politician…

i

original goan haiku #3

DEAR AUNTY,

Is it true you wake up and write the ‘Aunty’ column in bed, then walk across to the next column and do the haiku?? What’s happening, Aunty??

Versha.
…………..

Dear Versha:

I’m just a goan from bed to verse.

j

Francis Rodrigues © 2008 Toronto.


2008 CONVENTION BLOG: HUMOUR, HAIKU & HISTORY :) FEB 2 2008

February 2nd, 2008


Churchill Alemao is a confused Goan politician…

i

original goan haiku #2

DEAR AUNTY,

The most infamous Goan polygamist
was Polly Gama!! So why is he being
honoured at the Convention??

Addy.
…………..

Dear Addy:

Because mathematically speaking,
he was the first poly’goan!.

j

Francis Rodrigues © 2008 Toronto.


2008 CONVENTION BLOG: HUMOUR, HAIKU & HISTORY :) FEB 1 2008

February 1st, 2008


Churchill Alemao is a confused Goan politician…

i

original goan haiku #1

DEAR AUNTY,

Do you know which famous Goan country song is going to be the theme song sung at the 2008 Goan Convention in Toronto ??

Dolly.
…………..

Dear Dolly:

“When You Are Goan…” by Jim Reeves.

j

Francis Rodrigues © 2008 Toronto.


UPDATE: 13 JAN :) OPRAH WINFREY TO SHOWCASE CONVENTION???

January 17th, 2008

THE OPRAH WINFREY INTERVIEW:

The disembodied voice intoned, “Thank you for calling Harpo Productions. An associate will return your call in 15 years….” Hah, yeah right!! The Phoneix of Arizona, my main man and repository of all this planet’s unlisted numbers, laughed and hit the super-dial on his ‘Unlisten!’ Cameras whirring in front of a billion-strong audience, a black Dreyfon shrieked to life, rudely interrupting Madonna’s tearful confession to Oprah:

OPRAH: Whaaat?? I’m on air!!
me: Yo, an I’m on coke! Hah!
OPRAH: Barrack? U on arrack?
me: WTF?? R U dissing me? OPRAH: Aaargh! You’ve made Madonna go all weepy now!
me: Yo musta pista, sista!
OPRAH: She’d just got religion!!
me: Is dis the Pope’rah show or wot??
OPRAH: She wanted it ‘confidential!’
me: Sorry mama, “Oprahtion failed!”
OPRAH: She’s all undressed now, jerk!
me: Nightie at the Oprah??? Hehe!
OPRAH: She’s promotin my new lingerie line..
me: The Win’free O’Bra??? Lmao!!
OPRAH: WTF!!Whaddya want, honky??
me: Promote our Convention, sista!!
OPRAH: Where?? Is it non-alcoholic??
me: Up north – haha, yes, we’re Canada Dry!!
OPRAH: A comic! Lose the puns dude!!
me: Can’t! Ah’m a smooth Oprahtor!!
OPRAH: Aaaargh! Let’s go to tea-break..
me: Sista, lose the tea!!! You need to…
OPRAH: Diet?? If I lose the t, I’ll…”Die”!
me: Look who’s punny, O richest mama alive!

contd…->

OPRAH: Ya, I’m a super-Star, Ms mega-Bucks!!
me: So sponsor our Coffee, Ms Star’Bucks!!
OPRAH: I’ll sponsor your whole Convention!!
me: ??? What would you get in return??
OPRAH: I’ll be wed dere – to my guru, Deepak!
me: Not dat lemon – U becomin Oprah Chopra!!
OPRAH: Ya honky, a Propah Greek wedding!!
me: OMG, Oprahy for us….Zoprah the Greek!!
OPRAH: Groaan! Can’t you evah be serious?
me:
Put da Convention on your show, Opie!
OPRAH: Make me a Goan! Gimme a caste!
me: How about ‘out-caste?’ Opariah Winfrey!!!
OPRAH: Yo!! I got my OWN TV station now!!
me: To shoot druggies?? Dope’rah’s Dopies??
OPRAH: No, just my secret singin ambitions!!
me: No, no, no, not…Phantom of the Oprah!
OPRAH: It’s the story of my rags-to-riches!!!
me: U inspire da sistas becom Oprah singers??
OPRAH: Life in da ghetto sucks!! I’ll make a billion copies of my series for kidz from da hood …and they’ll get lotsa freebies from ma spas!
me: So they get lots’a bubble-baths free…
OPRAH: …if they get my hood opera copy!!
me: haha!! “Ghetto soap Oprah, Winfrey bubbles forevah!”

Francis Rodrigues © 2008 Toronto.




Ben Antao Marinella Proença Cecil Pinto Cornel Dacosta Victor Rangel-Ribeiro Ethel Da Costa Fred Noronha Walter Tavares Silviano Barbosa Tony Fernandes Wendell Rodricks Bosco D'Mello Helga R. Gomes George Pinto Roland Francis Ruth De Souza Mervyn Lobo Rene Barreto Filomena Giese Rajan Parrikar Alex Fernandes John J. D'Souza Zulema De Souza Herman Carneiro Tony D'Souza Troy De Souza Dean D'Cruz Victor Martins Jr. Menezes Joaquim Goes