THE OSAMA BIN LADEN INTERVIEW:

The call from Al Jazeera came exactly at midnight. “Osama is dead, but he wants to attend the Convention!!” Enough to make you quake. No way to return the call, except…of course! My alter ego, from whom no unlisted number (extant or not) is safe, the Phoneix of Arizona, set up an amazing hyperlink using an undersea cable whistling into an echo chamber in Cave No. 72. Tora Bora or Waziristan?? Hah! wouldn’t you like to know! Using a Vader voice-mask, embedded with Arabic auto-translation software, I cranked a kinetic-spring dial – no electronic signal, ever since the Israelis detonated Abu Nidal or whovever, with one!
N.B. When you see this interview with OBL (Osama Bin Laden) airing worldwide tonite on CNN, Larry King and Al Jazeera, etc., remember you saw it here first!

me: (crackle) That u Osaaama? OBL: Infidel dog!! Who is this??? me: Al Gore.ela! Jazeera’s kaput! OBL: Ma hadas? Maa had aas?? me: Yes, my Mama’s got the best a** in the world!! Does yours?? OBL: Osama Bin Laden’s dead!! The peace of the Prophet be upon him. me: Terrible news! How do you feel?? OBL: Of course I’m upset!! It’s not everyday one learns to accept his own demise. me: How will you cope?? And Al Qaeda?? OBL: I am trying to console myself, but it may take many months, years maybe…. me: Will Al Qaeda downsize? OBL: Yes, we will lay off 50,000 martyrs.. me: They’ll sing the mourning song!! OBL: “Don’t Cry For Me Al Qaeda!!” me: Now ur dead, u get the 72 virgins!! OBL: Dog, it’s 72 versions – of Mrs. Laden!! me: Isn’t that hell, rather than heaven?? OBL: What’s hell…is this cave!! Real ripe … me: No flush toilet?? All bat and camel poo?? OBL: That’s why I’ll be at yr Convention!!! me: In yr dreams fatboy! Ain’t Osummertime!! OBL: I wish I could have seen your website….. me: Telly-ban in yr caves?? Prey today! OBL: Why mosque u be so unrelenting?? contd…->

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me: You think everybody’s a bigot!! OBL: Osama, and osama are not!!! me: To Osammarize, ur not welcome!! OBL: I’ll stop sponsoring terror. me: OK, sponsor our event’s hostelry!! OBL: What!! Think I Osama Bin Drinkin?? me: You cld be….Osama Bed Linen!! OBL: My twin’s gonna rule America!! me: Obama bin Barrack?? Haha! lol. OBL: I’ll go to his Conventions, hehe! me: Stick to Osama camps, flea-beard!! OBL: We need yr event – my wife insists! me: Jihad to do it! Or you’d blow her up! OBL: I’m O’Spin Laden, with cash…to..blow!! me: ur Dust Bin Laden with trash…hello…hello! —: [click....busy tone, then..] “We’re sorry, but this number has exploded and is no longer in service. Please hang up and try again later.” me: WTF!!! [crank-dial] Did u jst cut me off?? OBL: I wanna do good for you, but u insult me! me: Oh killer, now u want Goans on yr side?? OBL: I’m ur friend behind the scenes in Canada!! me: ur the fiend behind the sins of Al Qaeda!! OBL: U judge me solely on the WTC tragedy? me: Why should you think otherwise?? OBL: “One solo does not Osama make!!”

Francis Rodrigues © 2008 Toronto.

Mmm…dreamy isn’t it? A goblet of feni, sea and sand…moonlight and the soft touch of her hand…

A gorgeous Toronto morning, white and gold and arctic blue, the snow banked high, but the sun’s quivering through. It’s Day 3 since our launch, and boy, are we having fun! The phones been ringing off the hook, folks making enquiries from all corners of the globe. Really cool folks signing up for the Convention: dashing George Pinto of Goa Sudharop (US), glamorous Betty and Benny De Souza (UK), among the many.

Betty Bocarro was the belle of the ball in Zanzibar, when she married Benito (Benny) – noted photographer, blogger and master-musician – the Convention’s (more…)

Welcome to the blog of the 2008 Toronto International Goan Convention! This is going to be the biggest ever Convention – concerts, workshops, seminars, debates, tiatros, reunions, exhibitions, action-plans, awards of excellence, the works!

We even have an International Miss Goa pageant, a global Goan Idol, Wendell Rodricks fashion (more…)